The family sheet
Five rules, two kinds of secret, and the words to say. Put it on the fridge.
Five family rules
- Your body belongs to you.
- Safe is more important than polite.
- Nobody gets to make unsafe secrets about bodies.
- You can always tell us — even about somebody we know.
- You will never be blamed for somebody else’s behaviour.
Two kinds of secret
A surprise
Has a happy ending when people find out. A present, a party, a card you made. You keep it a little while and then everybody is pleased.
A speak-secret
Is about touching, pictures of private parts, threats, fear, pressure, or anything that worries or confuses you. You do not keep it at all. You tell a safe grown-up.
If your child tells you something
Say these out loud, in these words if you can.
Try not to: ask lots of questions, promise to keep it secret, confront the person, or ask why they did not tell you sooner. You are not investigating. Contact your local child-protection service. You do not need proof.
Never make getting away the test
If you couldn’t get away, it would not be your fault.
If you froze, it would not be your fault.
If you did what somebody told you to do, it would not be your fault.
If you told me much later, it would not be your fault.
The child’s three
NOTICE what somebody does.
GO, if you safely can.
TELL — and keep telling until somebody helps.
The grown-up’s three
LISTEN — let them use their own words.
BELIEVE — take it seriously first.
PROTECT — it is our job, never theirs.